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	Capitalism and Cows... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.   ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM   You have two cows.   You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters   of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a   debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get   all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk   rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a   Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who   sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.   The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.   The public buys your bull.   AN AMERICAN CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.   You are surprised when the cow drops dead.   A FRENCH CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You go on strike because you want three cows.   A JAPANESE CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow   and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow   cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.   A GERMAN CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.   A BRITISH CORPORATION   You have two cows.   Both are mad.   AN ITALIAN CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You don't know where they are.   You break for lunch.   A RUSSIAN CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You count them and learn you have five cows.   You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.   You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.   You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.   A SWISS CORPORATION   You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.   You charge others for storing them.   A HINDU CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You worship them.   A CHINESE CORPORATION   You have two cows.   You have 300 people milking them.   You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the   newsman who reported the numbers.   AN ISRAELI CORPORATION   So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory,   an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their   calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
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